Therapy for Perfectionists in MA & NY
Am I struggling with perfectionism?
Do you think that things need to be perfect all the time?
Do you get upset with yourself when the standards you set for yourself aren’t met?
Do you see yourself only in extremes? Either you’re perfect or you’re a failure?
Do you have a difficult time making decisions?
These feelings can be overwhelming and you may be wondering if therapy might be right for you.
You may have been experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression related to these thoughts. Headaches, chronic fatigue, a constant sense of worry or dread.
Your Days May Look Like This…
You wake up in the morning thinking about your to-do list. You have a hard time deciding what to wear, afraid that someone will make a comment about your outfit, and you end up changing it twice. You spend twice as long on an email than you should, making sure that you sound professional but not cold, and worry how it’ll be received after it’s sent. You get feedback from your boss about a small change to something you worked on but the only thing you hear is “you failed.” Back at home, you find yourself replaying the day in your mind, going over every mistake you made, and critiquing everything you did. It leaves you feeling exhausted and stressed.
Managing Perfectionism is Possible
We all have moments in our lives when we want to do our best, putting our best foot forward, and not letting anyone down.
But when those feelings turn into procrastination, stress, anxiety, and depression, making it difficult for us to make decisions, and finding that we’re constantly putting ourselves down, we’re probably being more hindered than helped.
That’s where I come in.
Using evidenced based practices, we can work together to help better understand your perfectionism, and how to address it properly.
What can therapy provide for me?
We’ll work together to explore what your concerns are and set realistic goals to help address those concerns. After an initial, thorough assessment, we’ll talk about how you would want things to look or feel different to you in your life.
We’ll explore stress reduction skills, thought reframing techniques, and explore some of the deeper contributing factors to your perfectionism that we can incorporate into your therapeutic journey together.
I still have some concerns…
What even is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is the belief that everything has to be perfect all the time. Oftentimes someone struggling with perfectionism sets goals that are impossible to reach and then feels deeply crushed when those goals aren’t met.
What causes perfectionism?
Perfectionism, like many things in psychology and the behavioral sciences, is caused by a combination of environmental factors and genetics. There are many ways that perfectionism could have developed in a person’s life, from having a parent who was a perfectionist and learning their habits, or having difficult experiences in school where perfectionism developed as a coping mechanism in regards to failure, and a slew of other explanations. It’s important to be able to discuss your life experiences and we can track the patterns that led to where you are today.
What if I think I have OCD?
While perfectionism and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can have overlapping symptoms, perfectionism is a personality trait, where OCD is a mental health diagnosis. Perfectionism can be maladaptive, in that it can cause problems with decision-making, impact self-esteem, contribute to a fear of failure, and negative self-talk, but it is not a diagnosis. People who struggling with perfectionism may have anxiety, OCD, or depression. It’s helpful to discuss your symptoms and how they manifest in your life during our initial assessment and we can discuss what the right course of treatment would be for you.
Can perfectionism be changed?
Yes! It can! There’s no silver bullet when it comes to addressing difficult patterns of behavior, especially ones that we’ve been using for most of our lives but with dedicated time and attention and the right set of skills, it is possible to engage less with perfectionist tendencies and create better patterns of behavior and thought processes moving forward.