Don’t Be an Asshole

One of my pet peeves as a millennial therapist in the world of social media is that a lot of what is conveyed is so black and white.

Influencers will discuss things like boundary setting and go immediately to cutting people off or out of their lives because of whatever reason.

Here’s the thing… it’s really not that simple.

It’s possible to set boundaries, to advocate for your own wants and needs, AND be respectful and understanding of the other person involved.

Are there certainly circumstances in which cutting someone off completely is warranted and necessary? Absolutely! But not every situation is that clear cut.

Assertive communication has existed for forever. It’s the idea that we can advocate and communicate our wants and needs while also being respectful to and understanding of the other person that we are talking to.

This isn’t always easy or straightforward. We all have feelings and sometimes how someone reacts to a boundary may not be the reaction we hoped for. We can still be empathetic to that person and their emotions but not concede on our boundary.

Being a person in the world means having to sit with and manage discomfort. No one is saying that you have to do the emotional labor for everyone in your life but we do need to be empathetic (to a degree) in regards to why that person is having the reaction they’re having.

It’s possible to say “I hear you and I understand that this is hard.”

There are plenty of ways to advocate for oneself without being an asshole.

If you’re interested in finding out more and work on your assertive communication skills, feel free to reach out for a consultation!